Hello everyone,
Thanks for coming by to read and write about Kathy.

We all miss her already, but her love and impact on this world carry on.

I decided to set this page up for all to join in remembering her, as we will not be having a service.

Kathy was not big on services, and we know it would be for us not her.

Since there is a lot going on now with Jennifer’s wedding on 5-3-08, Mike leaving for active duty with the National Guard in July, and Julie graduating from High School on June 3rd, it is important to focus on what is going on now.

The children are very important to Kathy so I will uphold her level of attention and support.

We can share our feelings here in much the same way as in a service, maybe even more so.
For those who don’t know much or anything about what happened I will explain.

On October 22nd 2008 without any prior indications we found out that she had colon cancer and that cancer had spread into other areas of her body already. They considered it at stage 4 and said ‘we will make you comfortable’.

Of course neither Kathy nor I was ok with this so we pursued other ‘alternative’ treatment options. She ended up going to a clinic in Reno, where doctors can legally do a lot more in treating cancer. Their program normally runs a minimum of 2 years.

After the initial start up treatment sessions over about 5 weeks and the first monthly 3-day session in January the pain was increasing. We spent the next 3 months chasing the pain with increasing pain medication, trying to keep her eating properly and reversing a condition common with cancer where her body was not properly assimilating nutrients and water.

We obviously did not find out about this soon enough to be able to have any kind of treatments to have a positive affect. She passed on 4-23-08.

She was at home for the last week and a half. I was holding her up on her left side in bed so the health aid could finish a bed bath . . . she calmly took her last breaths.

Earlier on Sat. the 12th while in the hospital to get fluid build up pressure relived from her abdomen, she stated that she was done fighting and ready to let go. By the next day the pain had increased to the point where the level of pain medication made it hard for her to communicate.

Up to this point I was being very pro-active in helping her to reverse what was going on, but once she made that statement I honored it.
The reason very few people knew anything about this is that it was Kathy’s desire. She wanted to be able to remain positive and strong without having to deal with any possible attitudes and fears others may have concerning the diagnosis.

Of course we can now argue that this was right or wrong, but it was what she chose to do - so please don’t attempt to read anything into it in regards to her feelings about you or anyone. She wanted to remain private about it, that’s all.
I have been asked how Jennifer, Mike, Julie and I can handle Kathy passing as we do.  It has to do with our deep faith that she is all right. She has returned to where she came from, she is a child of God - just going back.
I know that what she was to us while here is not all that she is, she goes on - she will always be with us.

I am very thankful to have had her in my life, but I can’t be so selfish to not allow her to pass on in grace if that is what is intended for her. I don’t make the plans.

Of course I don’t know why this happened when it did, but I do believe nothing is on accident even if it appears to us that it is - we don’t know enough about life to judge this.

I have learned a lot form being with Kathy and I continue to do so even now as I think about our life and her, the person.

There is a lesson in everything, if we seek it and honor it.

I urge you to look for these lessons as you think about your relationship and interactions with Kathy. She would want you to discover them and grow as a result.
I don’t know if I will fully understand the reason or timing for her passing until I pass myself, but a thought has come to me since. Perhaps she had fulfilled her purpose here.

She raised wonderful children, being very involved in their lives and activities. She also cared for her grandmother, mother and father as well as my father in their last years providing them assistance and comfort in their time of weakness and need.

She also assisted others as the need arose. These things were very important to her, and as most know, she was very definite about what was important to her.

She made sure the kids were self-assured, having the strength to carry on.
I can go on here for a long time about Kathy all by myself, we were married 2 months short of 30 years, but I would like you to express your feelings here as well. There is healing power and tension release in expressing your feelings, so please do.

John

PS, In order to post your comment, you will need to register, then log in. This process protects against spam from automatic programs that muck up blogs.

You can click on ‘write comment’ just below the last comment on the page.

Then click on (log-in)

Then in the new window just under the light blue box click on the word ‘register’

Follow through the register process and the system will send a password to you via email.

Go back to the ‘Remembering Kathy’ page and click on ‘write a comment’

Then click on (log-in) and put in your user name and the password you got via email.

You should now be able to wrtite and post your thoughts.

If for some reason there is a problem with this let me know.

John