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Monthly Archives: March 2007
Monthly Archives: March 2007
Have you heard about the ‘Complaint free Bracelet’ yet?
It was initiated by one person and has exploded!
Oprah did a segment on it during Tuesday’s show, she spoke with the originator of this great idea, a minister in Kansas City, US.
The minister and his group have fulfilled over 2.3 million requests for bracelets.
They are making rubber wristbands, similar to others you have seen around that people use to remind themselves of various things.
The concept with the ‘No Complaint’ bracelet/wristband is this: You put it on one wrist and leave it there until you complain about something. Then you must move it to your other wrist.
Each time you catch yourself complaining about anything, you move it to the other wrist.
The goal is to have it remain on one wrist for 21days, which means that you have not complained about anything for 21 days.
The reason for 21 days is that many feel that it takes 21 days to establish a new habit.
What a wonderful idea, train yourself to not complain – at all!
Have you ever considered how destructive it is to complain?
The complainer is the one who really suffers.
Think about this, if you get more of what you think about – what happens when you complain?
How about your attitude? What is your attitude when you complain?
And your perspective? How have you allowed yourself to look at things?
Does complaining, with the emotional and physical repercussion do anything to support your being happy in life?
Does it support anything good and positive?
Complaining is just a bad habit that drags you down the road of focusing on negativity rather on positive, supportive and progressive thoughts.
You get more of what you think about – what will complaining get you?
The time you use complaining is time you are not feeling joy and peace. You are not living in the moment.
You are stealing time from thinking about and supporting what you DO want.
Complaining helps you remain stuck in what you now have rather than progressing forward.
You are also bringing up negative emotions, which affect your physical health in adverse ways.
Your negative emotions and attitude that start with your complaining will affect other thoughts and behavior.
Complaining is not solution oriented thinking. You are just rehashing something that you aren’t doing anything about.
What do you want in place of complaining?
Think about this.
If you do any complaining – just STOP. It’s not good for you. . . or anyone else!
The bracelet, that is free, is a great tool that will help you break the complaining cycle.
The bracelet project that a group of people has undertaken is helping many individuals and the world..
With fewer people complaining, it gives us all one thing less to complain about!
Go to http://acomplaintfreeworld.org/ to get one for yourself and whoever you feel could benefit from using one.
“It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are, the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.” — Joseph Addison
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain – and most do” — Dale Carnegie.
Consider the complaint bracelet.
Use it as a tool to assist with ending your habit of complaining.
Take the challenge to be able to keep it on one wrist for 21 days. You should be well on your way to changing your habit in regard to automatic complaining.
After the 21 days, why not keep it on longer, just to be sure that you firmly cement into your thinking a new way of thinking and talking about what you use to complain about.
In eliminating your complaining, change the way you look at things. Take on a new way of looking at situations that you would have complained about. What other viewpoint and attitude can you have?
What has occurred just IS. Your reaction and complaint is entirely your choice as to how to see it.
Choose to see it from a more solution oriented viewpoint, or in just letting it go. Just because something happened or someone did something does not mean that you must have a reaction and ruminate about it over and over.
Be aware that one of the toughest situations to keep yourself from complaining is when you are around others who regularly complain. Many times we get into gripe sessions with others, even trying to outdo the other with a more extravagant complaint.
Try to remain neutral, not getting involved. In time the others many stop including you in these sessions since you are not goaded by their complaining and you don’t offer you own.
It can also be helpful to introduce the complaint ending process to others to reduce what you are exposed to from them.
Like anything, this will take some attention and effort.
Another thing the wrist band will do for you, is to help you to become more acutely aware of what you are thinking and doing throughout the day. This is another reason to keep up with it after your initial success with 21 days.
Go for it – give it a try.
No – just do it, try really means maybe!
Commit to doing it, be patient with yourself but persistent.
Just don’t stop and success will be inevitable.
http://acomplaintfreeworld.org/
It is free, but do consider donating to the group to assure they can keep this going.
“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses” — Tom Wilson.
“Realize that if you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have the time to do something about it” — Anthony D’Angelo
“The life that conquers is the life that moves with a steady
resolution and persistence toward a predetermined goal. Those
who succeed are those who have thoroughly learned the immense
importance of planning in life, and the tragic brevity of time.” — WJ Davison
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” — Calvin Coolidge
“Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning.” — Dennis Waitley
“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.” — Thomas Carlyle
What do you think?
Is complaining a problem for you?
For others?
John
I just read an interview article on Beliefnet with actress Doris Roberts, who is best known for her role as Marie Barone, Ray’s mother on the show “Everybody Loves Raymond.”
She is playing in a new Hallmark Channel movie this weekend called “Our House” where she plays a lonely old woman who gives up on life. That is until she meets Bobby, a homeless woman played by Judy Reyas- from ‘Scrubs.”
In the story the homeless woman helps the Doris’ character find an new purpose, offering her home to homeless people and helping them out.
I know this is a movie but it reminded me of how we all need a purpose.
There are many older people who are living a lonely depressed life because they feel they no longer have a purpose. Their children are away on their own, they are no longer working. perhaps not involved in any activities and alone. This is a perfect example of what the mind will do when there is no drive for any reason, it can be a major cause of depression and anxiety.
People need a reason, a why, a purpose to drive and motivate them in order to experience happiness. Feeling low self esteem can become a problem when you don’t feel you are of use. There are statistics indicating that a large number of men die within a few years after retiring from high powered jobs, where they were busy, responsible and challenged.
If they don’t find a new purpose to get involved with they feel useless, which can lead to stress, anxiety and depression. When a person feel useless and of little value the will to live can become extremely low.
And what about the homeless people? Many of them have lost their drive because how they feel about themselves. Self motivation is difficult when you see no purpose. Due to circumstances they may have given up on a purpose they once had, seeing it as no longer feasable. Maybe they never had one. It becomes easier and easier to drop futher away from the average productive life because it takes effort which must be backed by drive — that they don’t have.
These groups of people are but two examples of people who could use assistance finding a purpose to get behind mentally and emotionally. This should be part of the effort given to help these groups as well as others.
People will do much more for themselves when they have their own reasons to exert effort.
Those who are driven to actively support their own purpose can easily miss the fact that there are people out there that are struggling with life because they do not have this crucial motivational key. We just don’t imagine someone without a purpose when we are embroiled in fulfilling ours.
But look at all the individual suffering and the burdon on society these people frequently are, just because they lack purpose. What if we could assist them with finding something they can get excited about?
Pay attention to others you are around. Better yet, give them some attention by taking the time to find out whether they feel they have a reason to get up in the morning? Maybe you can help them discover one. Imagine what could happen if you assisted them in raising their motivation level to match yours?
Pay attention, there are learning and growing opportunities everywhere,
John
Adjust your thinking, your actions just a little each day and your life will change.
Get methods, tips, tools and resources for daily personal growth.
At the end of last month I shared some ideas regarding who you allow to influence you.
There is another way in which who you are around can have a profound affect on you.
Did you know that it is much easier for the son or daughter of a doctor to become a doctor than someone who does not have such a role model?
And I’m not talking about the ability to pay for all the schooling, rather a persons belief that they can do or be something. The child of the doctor may actually have more difficulty with the academic studies than a person from east LA with one parent struggling to cover the basic needs, but they will have a stronger vision of what’s possible for them.
There are many interesting nuances present when we are around successful people. Think about the life you were living when you were growing up. Is there any question in your mind about whether you could do the same for yourself? No, you can easily live as your parents did, in fact you very likely will without even realizing it, unless you figure out that you have the ability to do something different.
You have been around that life all your life, you know it well. you have experienced it and you have seen how others experience it. You are intimate with it, it permeates your subconscious and conscious mind
Your self-image is tied to this life as is your perspective on most things. Your mind has become programmed through the filter of this lifestyle.
Is it any wonder that very few young people from lower socioeconomic households become professionals or business owners. This is certainly not always the case but statistically it is. They have not had the advantage of being exposed to the successful example.
When you grow up having a parent that is, say a doctor, you then know first hand what a doctor is like. What their work entails, the kind of person they are, where they life, how they live, how they interact with others, how they handle money, how they handle problems, the things they do with their time, etc.
A person not close to this does not see and internalize much of these traits at all, they only take in perspectives ABOUT the doctor based on what they see from a distance, which is filtered through their lifestyle experience.
Your ego, the part of your mind that tends to protect you from anything uncomfortable, will try to keep you away from the unknown. So the more you know about what it is like to be a person who is a doctor the less resistance or ‘protection’ you will get from your ego.
If you want to succeed at something it becomes very important to get exposed to the people and situations that relate to what you desire in your life, in fact just broadening your exposure to many different people and activities can help you to determine you desires. Being able to ‘see’ something from a more intimate exposure gives your mind better ways to make the deeper connections that lead to your ability to imagine this for yourself.
The clearer the ‘pictures’ in your mind of yourself being like what you see, the more powerful your thoughts are. You confidence to make the first step is boosted by how much you can see and feel yourself doing it.
No matter your age, if you want to be doing something specific with your life, you need to look hard at who you should be around that can help influence you in a positive way. When you can watch other people close up doing something it becomes easier for you to see it for yourself. Over a period of time it seems commonplace to you. This also goes for any behavior good or not so good. I’m sure you have noticed that you can tend to copy at least somewhat, attitudes, perspective and behavior of people you have spent a lot of time with.
If you want to make a change, you will need to gradually reduce the influence of people that don’t fit in with your desires and add in people that do. As an extreme example, a group of people sitting around the local store with “bottle in bag” commiserating about how unjust the world is are not supportive or constructive to your becoming a doctor.
Find someone who does what you want to do, get familiar with them and what they are like, see what they do and why, get a feeling for their perspectives. Find people who do something similar, they will exhibit similar traits and behaviors. Associate with those who are supportive of your ability to step into what you want.
The proper influence from other people can help you to establish a clear intent for yourself. Your thoughts are the seeds that the universal spirit responds to. What are you thinking? That you clearly CAN do it or that you can’t see it for yourself?
It’s up to your choice and your actions to move yourself towards becoming who you want to be, it won’t just happen., your clear intent, your “seed” must be planted first. Allow others to help you clarify this for yourself.
John
“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.” — Stephen Covey
“If we do not rise to the challenge of our unique capacity to shape our lives, to seek the kinds of growth that we find individually fulfilling, then we can have no security: We will live in a world of sham, in which our selves are determined by the will of others, in which we will be constantly buffeted and increasingly isolated by the changes round us.” — Nena O’Neil
“We cannot consistently perform at a level inconsistent with our own self image” –Dr. Joyce Brothers
How can you use this idea:
Take a look at your situation.
What about your current interaction with people? Do they support your desired life or not?
Take a look at who you are presently around and how they affect and influence you.
Is it supportive of what you want for yourself or not.
What are you like around them?
Is this how you want to be?
What and who do you want to be like?
Who has these traits?
How can you get closer to them, spend more time around them?
Make this your intent –
To spend time around the people who do what you want to do and those who support your desired change.
To assimilate some of the characteristics of those who already are doing it.
To intimately see how their perspectives, behaviors and thinking support what they do, and how those attributes can support you doing the same.
John
“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ”What’s in it for me?”” — Brian Tracy
The headline on my Comcast homepage reads, “American Idol” Flap: Barba vs Frenchie.
Now lets see, in the scheme of your life, and what you want in your life, is this all worth your time, attention, thought and emotional involvement?
Whatever you think about revealing pictures floating around showing two people that have been on the American Idol show, is it something that contributes to your life.
We are bombarded all the time with news on this and that. What are the Hollywood stars and musicians doing in their life today? Who did what and to whom? I know It’s all very tantalizing to read, but is it worth it?
And particularly when you get emotionally charged about it one way or another, this can use and misdirect a lot of energy that could be better applied. It’s so easy to get boiled over about what the actors, musicians and sports stars are doing or not doing – I’m sure you have an opinion. But does that mean you need to use your time expressing it?
What he/she did today – So what! Let them be – you can’t do anything about it anyway. In the off chance you can, then get with it.
Here’s the thing, what you focus your thoughts and emotions on expands in your life. And the amount of time and energy you focus on something has a direct correlation on the affect it has on your life.
This may seem silly to think that thinking about these performers and their indiscretions, mistakes or bad choices has any bearing on your life, but it does. If nothing else, it keeps you away from thinking about something that may be more supportive to the life you want to be living yourself. How much time do you want to spend watching the lives of others at the expense of doing something purposeful with yours?
It is so easy to allow yourself to get sucked into this stuff when it is all over the news, the internet and people talk about it at work. But there is a thing called self-discipline that you have full command of. Just because you have been in the habit of giving some of your precious attention to this trivia, you don’t have to keep doing so.
If personal growth and awakening is important to you, think more about how you use your thought time. Ask the big question, “does this support my life, detract from it?” This little bit of self-analysis can do a lot for managing your time, focus and emotions.
In looking at how you use your time, it can be helpful to look at both, what you do and don’t do in terms of what you want.
Oh look, what is Britney Spears doing today, and that thing about the Dixie Chicks has risen again, and Barry Bonds, and, and . . .
What about your life? Go do your life.
John
Are you one who is wishing for more peace and love to be expressed in the world? Soon there will be a way to have some real affect on the state of our consciousness, thought and behavior.
I just received a note from my friend Julian Kalmar that a huge project he has been working on for months is finally starting, it has to do with helping the people of the world to live in peace. I know many talk about this but feel powerless to do much about it.
How does each of us individually do anything about it? Well, I think what Julian has started will help get the masses of us, who want to do something concrete about it, together as a power that can affect change at many levels.
Now this is just beginning and like anything it will take time and effort to get it rolling. In order for there to be any power behind it many people will need to be involved. In time this project will be able to work at developing greater peace at many levels, but the show of support needs to begin now.
Following is the message Julian asked me to send out regarding the mere beginnings of the program –
You may have heard the names of Rick Beneteau or Julian Kalmar more than once around the Internet over the years. Julian is the creator of The Happiness Formula and Rick is probably best known for helping kids at Christmas since 2000 with his annual Internet Toy Drive (in affiliation with Toys for Tots).
Soon, Rick and Julian will be unveiling a project that will help millions of innocent victims of war and violence around the world. It’s a project I’ll be fully supporting in a few weeks when it launches. In the meantime, I want to share a small part of that special project with you.
*Posters of Peace* are absolutely stunning reminders of how to live a rich, and peaceful life. Each professionally designed poster contains an inspirational message from one of the great teachers of peace and you can grab a great one right now at NO COST. Not only that, but each poster helps feed and shelter war refugees!
How could a f*r*e*e poster do that, you might ask? The answer is simple: You pay ONLY a modest shipping and handling charge and an extra $2.00 to help the war refugees. You can look over the special discounts on some nice upgrade options (which further helps refugees) but you can quickly click through to redeem your no-cost poster. Quantities are extremely limited so please get one of these gorgeous posters right now: http://www.10millionposters.com/?a=7
I can’t wait to tell you about Rick and Julian’s massive project to spread peace throughout the world. In the meantime, please do take advantage of these beautiful posters before they’re all gone. You’ll get a great wall piece and you’ll help those who are in such dire need: http://www.10millionposters.com/?a=7
Thank you for helping refugees!
***
I urge you to help the refugees and show your support for what I believe will be the largest mass show of support and action towards world peace ever undertaken!
I will keep you posted of developments with the 10 million clicks for Peace program and the different ways for you to be involved here on this blog
Pass this message around to others that would like to see more effort put to creating a world where peace is more prevalent. The more people involved the more power and impact this will have.
Imagine what 10 million, and more, people behind a common cause can do. In this initial phase they will collect a base group of people who want to add their support to a better world, plus the benefits the poster program will have right now for people in immediate need.
If you want a world of peace, get involved now and help this effort grow in astronomical proportions – and we will have an affect!
John