January 2006 – Effective Personal Development

Getting upset – why?

I was reminded today as I worked on getting this blog set up, how we can so easily fall prey to our expectations. I found myself getting quite upset with some of the quirks I ran across with the blog software.

There were things I was having difficulty getting set the way I wanted. I got riled about some answers I received as a result of submitting a help request. The answers were not what I wanted to hear because they didn’t conform to what I wanted to hear.

Now, I am the first to stand up for product and service that I think is warranted, but I also know that I must be careful not to set rigid expectations about exactly how everything is carried out.

Going around with this attitude is what so many are perpetually unhappy. Most of the time I do pretty good with this.

If it were my business I could operate it in any way that I see fit, but who am I to set the universal standard of operation and behavior for everyone else?

A Fine Line

There is fine line here between my being justified in expecting a certain level of service with a product and expecting it to be what I deem to be perfect. This is a point of balance we all face in virtually all areas of our life. I got myself to chill out about the situation, and of course I was able to think more clearly and rationally.

Kudos

At this point I must say that I was assisted in this redirect of my perception when John Keegen the owner of BlogHarbor personally called me on the phone after I had responded to his e-mail reply to my help request. He was concerned that I was unhappy and he wanted to make sure my concerns were addressed completely.

Well we had a good conversation that helped a lot. I have to say that I was impressed that he called me. I don’t know how many times I have been frustrated in the past with getting help with a computer or Internet problem. I bet you could name a few yourself.

I really appreciated his concern for my situation, particularly his desire to actually talk to me to ensure I was satisfied. In my book he gets a gold star for making the effort to provide above average service to his customers.

This is a perfect example of where I could have caught myself earlier in the cycle of getting upset and reevaluate my perspective, allowing me to feel differently. Because it was all in my perspective why I was allowing myself to get upset and I can change it.

This was a reaction supported by an ego-based perception, which has its root in the ego’s concept of ‘I can only be happy when I’m right’. Ultimately, I can and should be happy no matter what is happening with the current situation. It is my choice to choose a better way.

Choice

Remember that you have a choice about your perception, attitude, thinking and behavior. Just because your ego has been running things, you don’t have to allow it to continue.

^^*^^*^^

Look for more articles here on self improvement addressing topics like motivation, goal setting, self confidence and living a purpose driven life.

Grow, discover, and thrive,

John

John Halderman, a writer, speaker, and trainer intent on helping you get real results from your personal growth efforts.

He supports methods, tools, and knowledge that bridge the gap between information and effective results.

If you are ready for the truth about change and growth, get the

‘Effective Personal Development Newsletter’.

Each week, delivered to you, are tools, tips, methods and ideas to alter your perception, all for you to use with your daily actions. =====>

http://www.activepersonaldevelopment.com/signup.html

January 27, 2006

in Main Page by John

First Post

This first posting will be an introduction

A little about me and what I am doing is in order to start.

The details about my personal story will gradually come out as I blog along here.

Basically I am here because I am now living in support of my purpose. I have known what my purpose is for a little over 13 years now, but had not got allowed myself to make a complete change until recently.

The primary vehicle to support my purpose is the organization I am building called the “Design A Life System”

My intention with this is to actualize effective personal development as a major activity for all people desiring a productive, fulfilling and ever-expanding life experience.

This blog is one of the pieces of the system.

This will be a place for me to share personal growth thoughts and ideas, as well as anything related that I think may be of value to you, in your life.

Some of this will entail exposing you to other resources that are providing something beneficial.

Marketer exposing himself helps you

One of those resources that comes to mind right now is Dr. Joe Vitale. Now his primary business that he is well known for has been in Internet marketing, publicity and copy writing. He can be found at http://www.mrfire.com/index.html

For this reason he is worth mentioning, as he is one of the people I have watched and studied as I have began to develop an internet presence.

I have a few of his products and they are some of the best available, but I have gained a lot by watching what he is doing. I particularly like his blogging strategy which I may try myself.

Another reason I feel he is worth your attention is his attitude on personal growth. He is one who has been brave enough to ‘come out’ and expose his personal feelings about it.

He has some personal growth products as well that are worth your attention. He has clearly stated that what he practices is based in metaphysics. This is the basis of my teaching as well and actually much of what is called personal development.

Many business people are reluctant to reveal their personal philosophy and beliefs for fear of negative repercussion. I agree with others who have said how refreshing it is that Joe opened up with his beliefs.

Study success to learn how to act

If you are like me, you study successful people, and anything for that matter, for an understanding of what they do. Have you ever noticed how all successful daffodils do the same thing! Yes, I am talking about the flower.

This applies to people as well as daffodils. What are the successful ones doing? What are they thinking? How do they perceive things? And, what is their philosophy?

Your philosophy is a foundational concept that allows you to perceive, think and act in certain ways. All of these parts are important, but if you stop short of taking action, you might just as well stick yourself on a shelf with the rest of the information.

I feel very strongly that personal growth is an activity not just a study. It is so common for many people to just accumulate information and not do anything with it.

It is said that information is power. I say it can be, only when used for a specific purpose.

~~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~

Once in a while in this blog you may see me refer to something going on in the world as I see it relating to personal growth.

Growth of another ‘bad-boy’ with the Kings

For instance, I live close to Sacramento California and today in the Sacramento Bee, the big news for basketball fans is the trade of long time Kings player favorite Peja Stojakovic getting traded to the Indiana Pacers for ‘baggage laden’ Ron Artest.

Now what is inter sting about this to me is how the Kings, under the tutelage of Kings president of basketball operations, Geoff Petrie have a history of turning around ‘bad-boy’ players.

Chris Webber had a record of physical interaction with his prior teams coach and Jason Williams was generally a handful. They both calmed down and became more professional in their behavior. Are these are not fine examples of personal growth?

Chris Webber became loved by the community. Can they do the same with Ron Artest? Is this a testament to the abilities of coach Adelmen?

I will be watching the Kings new rehab project with interest.

As an aside, it was a bit curious how team owners Gavin and Joe Maloof leaked the trade before it was finalized. I guess they were eager for it to happen. They do want to win and Peja has not had a good game all year.

Gavin Maloof said,”we have a home in Las Vegas, we’re gamblers, we’re going to take a chance on him.” In case you didn’t know, the Maloofs own, with the rest of their family, The Palms Casino in Las Vegas.

Religious divide over telling of history

Another local story that got my attention was how religious leaders were bickering over how certain segments of history should be told.

The California Department of Education had Jewish, Muslim, Christian and Hindu groups getting quite upset with one another over how history will be taught to sixth graders.

Now don’t get me wrong here, of course the way history is taught should be to be as accurate as possible, but I just have to take note that here we have another example of various people, under the name of religion, vehemently disagreeing.

When are we going to figure out that we are all part of the same group here? Continuing to focus on our differences only inflames them. There is a basic selfish mentality behind anyone staking claim to their one interpretation of reality as being the only possible explanation.

Why not seek to find the commonality of our different beliefs? Of course that would entail allowing someone different to be at least partially right. This seems to be a difficult thing for us humans to allow.

That will do for now,

To your growth,